I needed to purchase a few household items on Tuesday, and I just happened to be driving past the SuperTarget store that is near our home. I was vaguely aware of Target’s recent policy statement regarding the use of their restrooms by transgender individuals, and I had also seen an online headline or two about the American Family Association’s initiation of a petition to boycott the retailer. If you find it hard to believe that I wasn’t thoroughly steeped in all the sordid details of the “outrage du jour” among some conservative Christians, trust me when I tell you that my father’s death and funeral last week have kept me from being overly concerned about this latest skirmish in our nation’s culture wars.
So, I walked into Target on Tuesday and… everything seemed so perfectly normal. The people looked perfectly normal. Well, normalcy is relative; everyone at least looked “big box department store normal.” Things were just like they were the last time I was in Target, and just like I expect they will be the next time I’m there.
Ironically, I found myself in need of a restroom while at Target this week. To the best of my knowledge and remembrance, I have never used the bathroom facilities in this or any other Target. Ever! That’s just not why I go to Target, or to any other store for that matter. If the need does arise when I’m traveling or out shopping, I, like many other Americans, generally seek out the facilities of the nearest Cracker Barrel. That’s why they’re conveniently located near interstate highway exits. Surely my family can’t be the only ones who do this!
I don’t know if there was something at work in my subconscious on Tuesday, or if it was just my two morning cups of coffee, but I headed to the restroom immediately upon entering the store. The entrances to the restrooms were clearly marked “Men” and “Women.” Signage also identified a more private Family Restroom. I was grateful not to encounter any protesters, anyone asking me to sign a petition, or anyone demanding to see my birth certificate on my way into the men’s room.
Other than the obvious, my brief visit to the restroom at Target was uneventful. I had the place all to myself; I didn’t see another living soul. In the event that someone else had been in there, I’m certain that I would have avoided eye contact (as usual) and would have refrained from striking up a conversation; no small talk about the weather, the NBA playoffs, or the first few weeks of the MLB season. I certainly wouldn’t have dreamed of questioning a total stranger about their sense of gender identity. “Yeah, this is some weather we’re having, isn’t it? By the way…”
So, about the current controversy…
If you don’t want to shop at Target (for any reason, or no reason at all), then please don’t. Maybe you don’t like their restroom use policy as it relates to transgender individuals, or the values that you think this policy reflects, or perceived dangers you think the policy poses for unsuspecting women and children. That’s fine! Maybe you don’t like the presence of Starbucks in their stores. Remember the Great Starbucks Christmas Cup Controversy of 2015? Plain red cups! Gasp! It’s a miracle that the national economy didn’t crumble or that there’s a shred of morality left in the country after such an egregious assault on Christian faith! Maybe the Target logo naturally reminds you of a target, which reminds you of guns, which reminds you of hunting, which reminds you of the senseless slaughter of animals. Okay! Maybe you’re just a Walmart person at heart. Lovely! Whatever your reasons, take your business elsewhere. I really don’t mind at all, and I will respect your retail values and decisions, regardless of what drives them.
If you want to continue shopping at Target, but choose not to use their restrooms, that’s fine as well, since most shoppers never do. I’ve now made one such visit in the last 30 years, and may well reach the end of my earthly journey without a second visit. If the need does arise, and you’ve got some personal discomfort or concern for the safety of your wife or child, then use the Family Restroom and lock the door behind you.
But, please, please, please…. don’t question or condemn the faith, commitment, or morality of those of us who refuse to panic, who refrain from joining you in screaming that the sky is falling, who won’t stoop to fear-mongering, who aren’t interested in signing your petition, who continue shopping at Target, and may even sip a cup of Starbucks coffee while doing so.
I’ve already seen Christian friends on Facebook who have posted links to fabricated news stories about atrocities that have allegedly taken place in Target’s restrooms since the announcement of their policy. Such things severely weaken our witness as followers of Jesus Christ. Whatever truth you are seeking to defend, don’t discredit it, and the name of Jesus, with falsehood. Check it out on Snopes.com before sharing a link; the story may contain some truth, a smidgeon of truth, or no truth at all.
Can public restrooms be dangerous places and potential targets (no pun intended) for voyeurs, exhibitionists, and pedophiles? Yes! But, that’s always been the case, long before Target’s policy announcement. Vigilance, caution, and common sense have always been advisable. You shouldn’t need policies or laws to convince you of that.
What are the chances that you’re going to encounter a transgender individual in a restroom at Target? Infinitesimally small! What are the chances that this individual will pose some threat to you or a member of your family? Even smaller. What are the chances and likelihood of women and children being victimized, traumatized, harmed, or abused within communities of faith at the hands of trusted individuals whom they believe are sincerely serving the Christ that they claim to follow? Sadly, tragically, and damnably far greater.
A few months ago, we were having Sunday lunch with friends at a restaurant after morning church services. Our nonverbal, 23 year-old special needs son signed to me that he needed to go the restroom. We excused ourselves, walked to the restroom, and I claimed the handicapped accessible stall, as always, simply because there is more room for me to assist him. After our arrival, someone occupied the stall next to us. As we exited the stall to head to the sink, the door next to us swung open simultaneously. The fingers that were wrapped around the adjoining door’s edge were beautifully manicured, with nails brightly adorned in candy apple red polish. Uh-oh!!! As my eyes met with the owner of those distinctly feminine hands, I immediately began apologizing. “I am so, so sorry! We’re in the wrong restroom.” She spotted Coleman, smiled pleasantly and without alarm, and said, “Well, it could be me who’s in the wrong bathroom.” She stepped to the door, opened it, glanced at the sign on the outside, and said, “No, it’s definitely you!!!” We all washed our hands at the double sink, dried them, chuckled again with nervous embarrassment, and headed out the door together. I offered a final, parting apology, and silently prayed that I wouldn’t see her sitting among our guests at church as I preached the next Sunday morning!
Had this circumstance happened in Oxford, Alabama, this week, and if the woman had doubted our intentions in being in the women’s restroom, she could have called in a complaint to the police department, signed a warrant, and I could be facing a $500 fine or six months in jail. We would not be covered by the exceptions to Oxford’s new city ordinance. Though Coleman is my child, he is older than 12, and though considered disabled, the exception would only cover Kim assisting him in a restroom, not two males in a women’s restroom. Such are the inevitable consequences of knee-jerk legislation.
I’ve never struggled with my sexual identity or questioned my gender identity. It’s always been crystal clear to me. So, I obviously don’t understand what it’s like to be conflicted or confused about those issues. However, as a Christian, I can compassionately show civility, love, and respect to those who do. I can’t imagine what it’s like to honestly and sincerely be emotionally torn about which restroom to use; I simply can’t imagine. This doesn’t mean that my understanding of Scripture has changed one bit. It just means that I can and will treat people, all people, as individuals who have been created in the image of God and as those for whom Jesus died. It also means that I refuse to panic, and I refuse to peddle fear.
Thinking Out Loud 
60 comments
Comments feed for this article
April 29, 2016 at 2:05 pm
K. Rex Butts
Reblogged this on Kingdom Seeking and commented:
The author of the post below, Tim Pyles, is a fellow minister who serves with the Broken Arrow Church of Christ in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I’m thankful for his reflection here. Read on…
April 29, 2016 at 2:06 pm
K. Rex Butts
I just “reblogged” your post, as I am thankful for your reflection!
April 29, 2016 at 2:21 pm
Tim Pyles
Thanks so much, Rex, for reblogging this on Kingdom Seeking! I greatly appreciate your friendship and encouragement, brother! Blessings always!
April 30, 2016 at 1:08 pm
Anon
This is not the perspective of the many C of C congregations I once actively participated in my youth…..churches still attended thrice weekly by devoted family & friends who I believe would brand you as an ecumenical. Yet you apparently thrive in BA. Of all the places in the world this is one where I formerly would have considered least likely to find this sort of liberalism. Your nonjudgmental, rational, unfearful acceptance of that which does not directly contradict the teachings of your faith is an attitude not shared by many commenting on this post whose cultural identity is in part determined by a sense of profound discomfort for ideas outside the bounds of an exclusionary and rigid orthodoxy which they seek weekly to renew. Is a congregation of faithful who believe as you believe a church of Christ? Or, is it something else?
April 29, 2016 at 2:45 pm
Anonymous
I probably won’t boycott Target, largely because it’s too convenient to where we live. I’m just one consumer, or the head of one consumer family, anyway, and my feeble efforts at causing Target economic harm would be Pyrrhic at best. But, I also wouldn’t regard those who would boycott Target as panic-stricken Chicken Little’s or fear-mongers. Target, I think, doesn’t really care about transgender people using a bathroom that doesn’t correspond to their biology. Target is a for-profit, publicly-traded corporation with directors who have fiduciary duties to make money for their shareholders. Target acts out of economic self-interest, and has determined, apparently, that the cultural left and its allies in the entertainment and information media have more economic clout, and/or a greater capacity for causing economic damage to a company like Target, than the cultural right. To be sure, this one event with regard to bathrooms, like the Starbucks cup, is not cause for panic and fear. But, the “assault” on traditional Judeo-Christian values is incremental, and this is yet an another incremental blow. When people get upset, I think it’s not so much due to some irrational, myopic fretting about the latest snub at Christian-based holidays or “accommodation” to the LGBT community. Rather, it’s an acknowledgement of the accumulation and apparent acceleration of those snubs and “accommodations,” and the trajectory they are driving us. Maybe we, as Christians, have nothing to fear. Maybe we don’t need protection from Donald Trump or the American Family Association. But, we also live in a world that is comprised of much more than ourselves, including many people who are not yet the beneficiaries of God’s grace. I think Christian charity and love extends beyond giving material comfort to the materially needy. I think we need to be willing to shine our light in dark places — or, in this case, in incrementally dimmer places. I don’t think that severely weakens our witness as followers of Jesus Christ. To the contrary, I think that’s following His command in Matthew 5:14-16.
April 29, 2016 at 2:57 pm
Tim Pyles
Thanks, Anon, for the time and care with which you shared your comments. Obviously, we share some different perspectives on this particular situation and its place within our larger secular culture (which has always been secular; see slavery and the disenfranchisement of Native Americans as early evidence in the history of our country). However, your thoughts and perspectives are welcome here. And we are most certainly agreed on our desire to bring more people under the blessings of God’s grace and our call to reflect the light of Christ before the people of this world. We simply have varied perspectives on the wisest and most effective way of doing that. Grace and peace!
April 29, 2016 at 3:53 pm
ryarbrough
Although your points are valid and hysteria is not a good reaction to this issue, this is really not about bathroom use. It is about a continual shift of any established norms in out society, particularly Biblical or Christian norms.
April 29, 2016 at 6:08 pm
Tim Pyles
Thanks for commenting!
April 29, 2016 at 3:59 pm
John Davis
Tim a great read. To quote Dr. King, “I have decided to stick to love…Hate is too great a burden to bear.” I see too many “religious people” peddling fear and hate.
April 29, 2016 at 6:08 pm
Tim Pyles
Great to hear from you, John! Love to you, Jamie, the kids, and the grands!
April 30, 2016 at 5:12 am
John Davis
Tim you restore some of my faith in “religious people.” I have seen more hate and deceit in churches than should be there. I think Jesus preached unity not division and it seems these days division is far too often what leaves the pulpit. Hope you Kim, Hannah and Coleman are all well.
April 29, 2016 at 4:12 pm
David Courington
Target likely made this announcement after being urged to do so by some organization pushing LGBT issues. Their record is in accord with this post last year on their corporate website, “We’re making our message loud and clear: Target proudly stands with the LGBT community, both as a team member and team player through all that we do – from our volunteer efforts to our long-standing partnerships with groups like Family Equity Council and Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network, to the very products we carry in our stores and online,” said Laysha Ward, executive vice president and chief corporate social responsibility officer, Target.” Note that Target has taken a “stand” which infringes on others rights and scruples. It seems to me I have a right to stand against it. I personally have decided to join this boycott because of the issues it raises for my family (wife, children, grandchildren). No man should be in a women’s restroom or vice versa.
April 29, 2016 at 6:17 pm
Tim Pyles
Thanks for your comments, David. I have no doubt that Target, as a secular corporation, would have policies and goals that reflect the values of this world rather than those of the kingdom of God. I would be most surprised if they didn’t. I have no expectations that entities of this world (whether governments or businesses) will conform to the will of God. That is an expectation that I have of individual followers of Jesus and groups that profess faith in Him. As stated in my blog post, I fully support your right to participate in the boycott and to never make another purchase from Target, even though other believers may choose to do otherwise. Blessings!
April 29, 2016 at 4:22 pm
Casey Abell
Science has proven that we all start out in the womb as a female. Once the embryo is created after conception it has XX chromosomes which in development gives you a vagina. It isn’t until 6-8 weeks later that the Y chromosome may decide to show up so it can take that jumble of tissue in your little embryo belly destined to be a flower and turns it into a penis. So, sorry to all you manly men who “Ain’t gonna let some gender-bender in the restroom with my wife and kids!” but the truth is, all men are technically transgender.
Ever wonder why men have nipples? It seems that most of those who are in such outrage of the gender-neutral bathrooms all seem to justify their arguments with some reference to their Christian beliefs, where there’s the story of God creating man and then taking one of his ribs and creating woman. While all women are finger licking beautiful, I doubt that story is true, because, you know, science; however, this is where those societal rules and beliefs on gender norms all stemmed from. If that’s your belief and you’re sticking to it then good for you, but I suggest you stop using public restrooms or even the restroom in your own home.
For in the bible it says not to leave your excrement in your home or your neighbor’s home, but instead carry a spade, so that you can go outside, dig a hole, and bury it when you’re finished. No where in that book is it written, only he who has a penis shall urinate next to man. Nor, that only she who has a vagina shall hover squat in a stall next to a woman.
May 1, 2016 at 7:26 am
Robert Michaels
I hope you do not teach biology.
April 29, 2016 at 4:32 pm
Luke
First, a quick suggestion. I wouldn’t recommend referencing Snopes in the future. It’s not factual and is in the same realm as referencing Wikipedia or some random site. 🙂
I think you had some good points but really missed the big one. This isn’t about Christians fighting against transgender people. This is about needing a policy that does not put women and children at risk. The only people that are saying that this is about thinking transgender people committing crimes in bathrooms are liberals. They are saying that’s the REAL issue to make the other side seem hateful. Actually the other group of people that are saying this is about not loving transgender people are the ones listening to the lies the liberals are saying. We can’t play into their games. As you can tell it’s working.
It’s not about transgender people committing the crime or people feeling awkward. A pedophile (man) can enter a women’s bathroom and remain there all day waiting fit the perfect opportunity and cannot be forced to leave. With this the chance to commit a crime that will scar a child for life has a greater chance of happening.
I love homosexual people, heterosexual people, transgender people… even if I don’t agree with how certain people choose to live their lives. I only care about the risk of my children (and women) being sexually assaulted or photographed because of this. No matter how much certain people want to hide the stories of these type of things happening you can’t deny them.
I have 2 girls that are 9 and 11. I can’t go in with them and they can’t come in with me. Were they 100% safe before? No. Are they are greater risk now? Absolutely. Anything that increases the danger to my children is something I’m not supporting and we need to find a different way.
There needs to be a better answer. With your story about how you could have been fined in a different location… that’s not right either! There needs to be another way. But it should not come at the cost of our kids.
We have different opinions and that’s alright, but as a parent I feel very strongly about this. I also will be thinking of other options because I always hate when people don’t like something but don’t have an answer. 🙂
Just had to share my thoughts. 🙂
April 29, 2016 at 6:35 pm
Tim Pyles
Thanks so much for your comments, Luke! Yes, though we differ in some of our perspectives, we share a love for our children, a desire to keep them from any and all harm, and a love for all people regardless of whether their values and lifestyle conform to our understanding of what it should be or not. I truly appreciate that and your desire to find other options and solutions, rather than just identifying problems. I think we’d be friends! 🙂 I get what you’re saying about Snopes and Wikipedia (I certainly wouldn’t cite them as sources in a doctoral dissertation!); however, to deny that any truth or validity resides in them at all proves too much. The fabricated stories about offenses in Target restrooms do not suddenly become accurate and factual by virtue of being debunked as specious by Snopes. Grace and peace, Luke, and thanks for sharing your thoughts!
April 30, 2016 at 11:27 am
Robin Wolfe
Oh yes, By all means guys-come on into the ladies restroom. I mean after all, the days of ladies having the privilege of going into a restroom marked specifically for them-that regarded their privacy and dignity as people with girl parts, are over. First, regarding fabricated stories- I have two for you but much to your chagrin, they are not fabricated. Twice I have come out of the stall to see a man standing there just looking around. I’m sure he meant no harm but only wanted to grab a quick peek of something to give him a little boost. No big deal at all. Unless you’re a private type of woman but hey, call me a bigot and call me biased. Don’t get me wrong-I’m sure that I have shared a restroom with many transgender people in the past and that’s not what my issue here is. I’m really glad that the one time the woman who wrote the original story went into target and visited the restroom with no problems. I’m happy for her because her one time most likely to never go in again experience was pleasant. But for ladies and mothers with children who have to visit frequently, the odds are that they will eventually come face-to-face with a man who is in there for reasons that are not good. Don’t correct me here because I know what the law says- that the restrooms are for ladies and transgender’s. But the floodgates have been opened and in come the undesirables. But if they feel like a woman that day, then us real ladies have no recourse other than to suck it up and pull up the proverbial big girl panties and go on. I don’t like the condescending talk against those like me who have already felt the consequences of a law that was not thoroughly considerate of all people. I am a Christian, but listen-I don’t love all people. I don’t love those who seek to harm the innocent and do evil. May be a huge flaw in my Christian character but my Mothers instinct to protect my own is fierce. I’ve noticed a lot of readers on this blog are men. Most of the men I know are indignant to the fact that their wives privacy is being compromised. Those here seem to just expect us to accept the situation and be gracious about it. So OK, I accept it. But you can bet your last dollar I won’t be visiting a store whose policies clearly do not see the importance of providing a personal area where we feel welcome. Now let the rock throwing begin, I’m ready.
May 1, 2016 at 12:39 pm
Joanna
Thanks so much Luke and Marion for your insightful comments.
Fortunately, the majority of folks commenting here have had no personal experiences with sexual abuse. You are very fortunate! Either that or you have chosen not to understand how debilitating sexual abuse has on males as well as females, (like my in-laws) in which case, I feel sorry for those in your life who have suffered such haneousness without your help or sympathy. No one is attacking transgendered. Transgendered are pretty harmless folk.
Two major issues are at stake here. The biggest issue is the open invitation to all men to enter a women’s restroom without consequences. I don’t think anyone thinks that the transgendered are the predators here. I think many folks understand that a criminal is going to take advantage of any opportunity.
The second issue totally surprises me that more women’s libbers are totally surrendering their rights to privacy. What woman is going to tweeze her eyebrows, adjust her bra in front of the mirror, or pick food out of her teeth if there is a guy standing at the same sink next to her? What about changing a tampon knowing there is a man in the next stall? Blowing your nose? Farting? Really? Now women just have to suck it up and deal with it! We are returning to the day when the LGBT have more rights than the women. How can the ACLU scream for rights of the transgendered and in the meantime completely disregard very important rights of privacy and safety for women?
I love Target and so does my 15 year old daughter, who by the way, was being sexually abused between the ages of 5-8 without our knowledge. Fortunately, we were able to address the pedophile right away, allowing the state to press charges and convict him. The fact that it was a horrible crime committed against her, and the counseling we got her into, was very effective in validating her and getting her help. My daughter is very independent and confident of herself.
As we went to check out, this gentleman, whose back was to us, said in a deep voice, “May I help you?” My daughter said (later, regrettably), “Yes, sir.” When the man turned around to help us, he was wearing lots of jewelry, makeup, fingernail polish, capris and a blouse. Her/ his name tag said, “Jennifer.” We neither screamed or ran and had a very lovely conversation with him about how yummy the candy we bought tasted. He was friendly, amiable, and pleasant.
As we left the store, because we had been discussing Target, the topic of the day as we arrived in the p-lot, I asked her, “Would you be okay if you came out of a stall and there was “Jennifer” washing his hands at the sink? “Absolutely not!” Was her answer.
She neither disliked him or felt threatened by him at the counter, but she would not be comfortable with her sense of privacy being violated if she had run into him/her in the ladies restroom.
So I say, let the men have all 10 stalls!! We are very glad that Target has a “Family restroom” and when the line for that one toilet wraps around the store with women who want their privacy and children whose parents want them safe, hopefully Target will see that they are making a political decision based upon their own fears to satisfy less than 10% of the citizens who might shop there, and do something to fix it. They could at least remove a large percentage of inventory to put in a few more “private” bathrooms where ladies and young women can still keep their sense of dignity.
Please read the following book to help you understand a little more about the mind of a pedophile: “Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists, And Other Sex Offenders” by Anna Salter. It provides excellent understanding for people with sex offense addictions.
April 29, 2016 at 5:04 pm
Marian
Thank you Tim. Your blogs always come at the right time. Its times likjenthus when I truly miss your messages each Sunday
April 29, 2016 at 6:35 pm
Tim Pyles
Thanks so much for your encouragement, Marian!
April 29, 2016 at 5:09 pm
Kim Pyles
Love the article!
April 29, 2016 at 6:36 pm
Tim Pyles
Thanks, Kimmers!
April 29, 2016 at 6:40 pm
Gloria
Spoken like a true liberal
April 29, 2016 at 7:08 pm
Tim Pyles
Thank you, Gloria!
April 29, 2016 at 7:49 pm
Brett Christensen
While I agree with what you’re saying, I’d also caution against deriding, questioning or condemning the faith, commitment, or morality of those who
have chosen to boycott Target. Your point is well-made without describing those people as “screaming that the sky is falling” etc. It may be an appropriate description of some, but I dare say it does not fit them all.
But I’m glad you’ve drawn attention to a lot of good points we all need to consider as we navigate our walk in a wonky world. God’s people have always needed wisdom to handle such questions, and the challenge is to maintain love and good works (i.e. “shine”), taking Christ’s love and truth out into the midst of darkness without fear (Acts 18:9)…or fear-mongering.
April 29, 2016 at 9:33 pm
Tim Pyles
I appreciate your brotherly caution, Brett! A wonky world, indeed! I agree for our need for wisdom, discernment, and discretion as to how to best let our lights shine in this world of darkness. Blessings, brother!
April 29, 2016 at 10:25 pm
Bill Reeder
If you make a big deal out of something, it becomes a big deal. If not, it doesn’t!
April 30, 2016 at 5:56 am
Tim Pyles
Indeed, Bill! Thanks!
April 29, 2016 at 10:35 pm
Jerry Duncan
I’ve never read your stuff before, but it appears you are clear of mind and sound of logic. I appreciate that in a fellow Christian.
April 30, 2016 at 5:58 am
Tim Pyles
Thank you, Jerry, for reading and commenting! Much appreciated!
April 29, 2016 at 11:34 pm
Snave
Maybe if more Christians had real Christian values and critical thinking skills, like the author of this article, Christians wouldn’t need to fight pointless battles like who can legally go into what bathroom to prove how Christian and moral they really are. If God truly does exist as the Christian faith states he does, you are still supposed to love these people and not judge them. Romans 2.
Judgement is god’s job and part of his plan. Your job is to show unconditional love for all of his creations.
April 30, 2016 at 5:59 am
Tim Pyles
Thanks, Snave, for sharing your thoughts, comments, and encouragement!
April 30, 2016 at 6:16 am
Ron Holifield
Tim thank you…. it takes a lot of courage to talk about loving people these days…
I do believe the war on Christianity is real… but it is not the war that many think it is… the war that is steadily diminishing the influence and credibility of Christianity in our society is blindly being waged by those who spew mean spirited things while claiming they are followers of Christ. They truly do not realize how much damage they are doing to the cause of Christ by hatefulness in their actions and by rallying around those political leaders whose stock in trade is hateful rhetoric and fear mongering about “them” whoever “them” is at the moment. The real war is not about plain red coffee cups, or by people who think LGBT people should not be treated equally in the eyes of the law… the real war is in our hearts and our inability to remotely grasp that when Jesus said “Love God. Love each other. Everything else is just details” (Ron’s translation) that he actually meant it.
I used to think “if we have not love we are just clanging gongs” meant that we were being pointless. I have come to believe that the more appropriate interpretation (again Ron’s translation) is “if we have not love, we are just overly loud clanging gongs in the hotel room next to mine at 2 am in the morning when I have to be up at 6 am for an important meeting.” In other words, clanging gongs, are not just pointless… they are irritating. They create dissonance. They create anxiety, They cause people to flee their presence.
Clanging a gong at 2 am in the morning in the adjacent hotel room when I have to be up at 6 am for an important meeting does not have to be done with hate to feel hateful to me as the person hearing the gongs. Even if the gong is being clanged at 2 in the morning because the gonger is practicing for a performance before the Queen of England the next morning and they want to be the best gonger they can be…It still feels disrespectful, unloving, abrasive, uncaring, calloused and above all un Christlike to the person enduring the clanging.
And regardless of the intent of the gonger… it creates in the person listening to the clanging a long term aversion to gongs.
Clanging gongs are the REAL war on Christianity.
April 30, 2016 at 6:33 am
Tim Pyles
Thanks so much for sharing these incredibly insightful comments, Ron! I love your translation and your exposition of “clanging gongs”; so very true, and very sadly so. Great to hear from you again! Blessings, brother!
April 30, 2016 at 6:34 am
Scott Fornwall
If I can deal with the fact that I can’t buy a chicken sandwich on Sundays because people need to go to church, I’ll survive this bathroom debacle.
April 30, 2016 at 6:40 am
Tim Pyles
Indeed, Scott! 🙂 An amusing side note on the chicken sandwich situation… I’ve been known to swing by Chick-fil-A on Saturday evening, pick up sandwiches, or soup, or salads and poke them in the refrigerator to be retrieved for Sunday lunch. I totally agree that we’ll survive this as well. Thanks!
April 30, 2016 at 7:09 am
joey
Your overall point in this piece is, of course, correct. (I confess that just this week, I, a man, used a single-toilet, women’s room with a lock because the men’s room was occupied and had been for some time; and I needed to GO!)
I do wonder, though, what a “conservative” Christian is, as in your comment “…among some conservative Christians…” Is a “conservative” Christian different than a “Christian”? If not, why use that term? Why use that term in a discussion of THIS topic? My own, personal observation is that some Christians that I have heard express concern over this issue are NOT what many would consider “conservative”; they would be considered “liberal.”
Here’s my assessment: Your use of the phrase, here, stereotypes and perpetuates an unfortunate caricature of your own sisters and brothers. I wonder: If you were to take that qualification out of your piece, would it change the effect of what you have to say?
April 30, 2016 at 7:39 am
Tim Pyles
Thanks, Joey, for your most insightful and needful comment. You are absolutely right; the modifier “conservative” wasn’t necessary and it likely proved to bias (understandably so) the reading, thinking, and acceptance of some of my brothers and sisters who I feel needed to read and heed it the most. I appreciate you calling me out on that; labels, stereotypes, and broad brush descriptors are something that I typically find distasteful and totally unhelpful in reasonable discussions, and, sadly, I fell prey to it myself. Were I to rewrite the piece, I would definitely leave it out. I could easily edit it out now, but I will let it stand as a reminder to me to be more careful and courteous in the future. Thanks again!
April 30, 2016 at 8:02 am
joey
I would have been surprised if you had not responded as you have. To be clear: I’m sure I’ve probably used the same term, or worse. God bless…
April 30, 2016 at 8:29 am
Tim Pyles
Thank you, Joey! Much appreciated, and God’s richest blessings on you, as well!
April 30, 2016 at 11:11 am
Ron
Sorry lady this is not a Christian issue. To my knowledge it has nothing to do with Christianity but everything to do with modest and decorum. I have no desire for my 8 year old grand daughter to be exposed to this issue nor the pervertd who will not be transgender but take advantage of this opportunity to be a peeking Tom!! Stupid policy!
April 30, 2016 at 11:35 am
Debra Griffin
Seems as if one actually has to be a victim of pedophilia to get it. Im glad you never experienced that, but ONE IN SIX females have been sexually molested! I can relate FIRST HAND! This, my uneducated friend, RUINS LIVES! Please!! The world is a dangerous place and you are helping perverts feed their insatiable desire for SEX INVOLVING YOUNG CHILDREN! Stand before God with this post in your hand. What do YOU think Jesus meant when He said it would be better to have a millstone tied around your neck and be thrown into the sea than to offend one of the little ones?
April 30, 2016 at 2:39 pm
Tim Pyles
Debra, I am so sorry for the pain and hurt that you have experienced in your life through mistreatment and the sins of others against you. You are correct that I do not personally know the depth of that pain; but I truly do regret it for you and for all who have similarly suffered at the hands of others. I hope that those responsible were held accountable for their crimes against you and were punished to the full extent of the law. If you feel that somehow the views that I expressed condone or encourage these or any other crimes against children, then I believe you misread the post or misunderstood my intent. May you find peace and healing through the power and comfort of the Lord!
April 30, 2016 at 2:35 pm
Nancy Palme
Beautifly expressed and written. We often wonder
What the good Lord will think of those who pick and choose Bible verses in their messages of hate and filly. If they only would remember John 3:16 – the words to remind us that we are one on God’s eyes.
April 30, 2016 at 6:24 pm
Tim Pyles
Thank you, Nancy!
April 30, 2016 at 2:36 pm
Phil Jones
I never see the rank-and-file pastors taking a stand for any hard issues only bandwagoneering with full agreement with the cultural prevailing winds. Baal Priests softened every sin for the people and the leadership of that time. Real men of God are seldom aligned with the cultural norms and are usually persecuted. This is just part of the leaven for legitimizing a lifestyle that is contrary to the word of God.
April 30, 2016 at 2:42 pm
Ken
Anyone who thinks it’s a good idea for men to be allowed in a women’s restroom needs his / her head examined. Period.
April 30, 2016 at 4:37 pm
John Davis
From what I have read, children are at greater risk with some priest than they are a transgendered person.I think Tim’s point is more about loving others than it is about endorsing a certain lifestyle. Far too often I see “religious” people (the term and Christian are not always interchangeable) looking for reasons to spew hate at others. If a person is harassing another person in a restroom they are wrong and should be dealt with accordingly. However, a person simply choosing a restroom based on the gender they identify with and does their business and leaves everyone else alone isn’t bothering anyone else. When people decide they have the right to make the choice for others then rights are being violated.
April 30, 2016 at 9:28 pm
Robert Micheals
The problem is not with transgendered persons. The problem is with perverts who will exploit this policy. Yes perverts could always go in the bathroom not specified for their sex but they would face consequences if caught. Now there are no consequences so they can just camp there. My bet is that for every one transgendered person using the bathroom not for their sex there will be 1000 perverts that do. I do not want my daughter in that situation.
April 30, 2016 at 10:25 pm
Daphne
Tim, while I do understand what you are trying to say…I think you have missed the reason behind many people’s concerns regarding the transgender bathroom policy…for myself, it’s not about transgender people, I would much rather share a restroom with them… It is about allowing men who are not transgender to use the women’s restroom…so now, rapist or pedophiles can freely use the women’s restroom and we are supposed to be okay with that?? There is too much evil in this world as it is, why make it more inviting?
May 1, 2016 at 9:27 pm
Suzanne
Personally, I would not want to go into the ladies restroom, and find a man in their with me…Why, because fearing of being sexual assaulted. Children do have an urgency to use the bathroom, too. There is no way of telling the difference between a transgender and a man pretending to be a transgender. My question is, what percentage of the population are transgender, and why all of a sudden this this needs to be changed? Isn’t it more important, that the women and children feel safe?
May 2, 2016 at 6:12 am
Tim Pyles
Robert, Daphne, and Suzanne… Thanks so much for reading and for sharing your sincere comments. Since they all communicated a common concern, I’ll share a brief reply to all, rather than individually. My blog post related to Target, its policy statement, and reactions to it, primarily those from the Christian community. I may be entirely wrong, but I just don’t anticipate men lining up to use the ladies’ room at Target; I guess we’ll just have to see; if I’m wrong, I’ll admit it. As for increased danger, I don’t believe someone intent on committing a crime is going to choose a major retailer that (out of concerns for shoplifting and employee theft) has an extensive surveillance system with cameras throughout its stores, at its entrances and exits, and even in its parking lot. With all of the media attention and publicity, I imagine that Target is the last place they would attempt to prey on people, unless they just want to be caught and prosecuted. Use the same caution, judgment, and discernment that you always have; never send a child alone into a public restroom; accompany them, stand inside the door, or use a family restroom; if anything about the situation makes you uncomfortable or feel threatened, leave immediately and report it.
May 2, 2016 at 9:56 am
Bill reeder
I’ve read the comments and agree with some, disagree with others. That being said, the problem I see is enforcement in making sure men and women go to the bathroom of their birth sex. How do you do that?
May 3, 2016 at 1:45 pm
The Alabama Housewife
I have wanted so badly to write about this subject for days but stopped short because I knew someone, somewhere could do a better job. You fine sir are just that person. Thank you for putting things into perspective and thank you for your Christian voice of kindness. Our numbers are strong and I am hopeful more of us will step forward to lead our friends of all situations to know and serve Him–rather than scaring them away.
May 4, 2016 at 5:26 am
Tim Pyles
Thank you so much, MaryAlayne, for your very kind and most encouraging words! It is indeed heartening to hear from kindred spirits like you. I visited your website and your blog; thanks for sharing your Good Friday reflections; and, obviously, I loved and wholeheartedly agree with your spot on observations about the Starbucks Christmas cups and similar, inconsequential distractions that seem to bring the worst out in Christians; kindred spirits, indeed! I look forward to reading more. Blessings to you, your family, and your ministry of life and writing!
May 20, 2016 at 8:51 am
Donna LaFramboise
There are many Christians up in arms over this, but how are they representing Jesus in their response to it? I am not saying to call evil good and good evil, but over 50% of Christian men are looking at porn, while at the same time judging Target and making transgenders feel evil. It is the goodness of God that brings people to repentance (Romans 2:4). Is transgender any worse in God’s eyes than lust and looking at porn? Probably not.
May 20, 2016 at 8:53 am
Donna LaFramboise
Excellent article, BTW
May 20, 2016 at 9:28 am
Tim Pyles
Thanks very much for your comments, Donna!
May 22, 2016 at 5:14 pm
Robin
50% of Christian men are looking at porn? Where did you get this fact? I don’t know about the Christian men you know, but the ones I know DON’T. But in reality, Hardee’s commercials are pornographic to me, so you could have a point. But I am really tired of people throwing off on the church and Christians to try to validate a point that cannot be justified if you are a Jesus following Christian.