In my last post, I wrote about my recent sabbatical/silent retreat at the Abbey of Gethsemani near Bardstown, Kentucky. It was my second retreat there in as many years. Among other blessings, the week provided me with an opportunity to work through some inner conflict, turmoil, and anxiety that I didn’t even realize were affecting me so significantly until I was in a context where I could be still and focused long enough to reflect on it and face it. I spent a lot of time in reading, prayer, reflection, and introspection.
Among the issues that I wrestled with that week was the concern that I feel for Kim and Coleman while I am away from home. While Kim has been nothing but encouraging and accommodating over the last nearly 21 years of Coleman’s life in regard to my traveling great distances for mission trips, revivals, seminars, and now sabbaticals, I always experience a sense that I have left her with a significant weight of responsibility to bear alone. We are so blessed with dear friends and church family members who would be there (and have been) at the drop of a hat to assist in whatever ways may be needed, but that does not alleviate the sense of responsibility and angst that I feel.
My resolution of the conflict was to determine that, for the foreseeable and indefinite future, I will not make foreign mission trips. Foreign trips, of necessity, require a greater amount of time away from home than do domestic destinations. Also, the time and logistics of returning home in the event of an emergency are just too great.
I have been greatly blessed over the last 30 years to share in the work of Christ and His church in Australia, New Zealand, Papua New Guinea, England, Scotland, Mexico, Honduras, Nigeria, South Africa, Estonia, and Ukraine. Seven years ago, I had the joyful and enriching experience of traveling to Israel with my daughter Hannah. Even if I never travel abroad again, I will be extremely grateful for the opportunities that I have had up to this point in my life. Our son’s special needs and unique circumstances just necessitate a change of itinerary.
There are so many other people who can go (and will gladly go) to minister to others in the name of Jesus and share His love and message of salvation. Not only can they accomplish exactly what I would hope to accomplish, they can likely do so far more effectively, creatively, and fruitfully than I would be able to do. I will focus more in the months and years ahead on supporting others to go and encouraging those who have been sent.
Kim has already tried to get me to reconsider this decision. That is noble of her, but her efforts will be unfruitful. There is so much that I can do here and from here. I currently teach via Skype each week with a small group of Christians in Guyana, with plans to add a second congregation later this week; no airfare, no ground expenses, and no travel time required! Domestic mission destinations, seminars, sabbaticals, etc., will remain on the books, but only to places from which I could be home in a matter of hours versus days.
Is there any disappointment in this decision? Only that I may not have another opportunity in this life to personally see the smiling faces and enjoy the sweet fellowship of people that I have come to know and love in other places, most recently in Estonia and Ukraine. I had also hoped to return to Nigeria this year or next and to include a stop in Liberia where I lived for a while when I was a boy.
So, yes, a bit of disappointment, but no sense of defeat. This is just another lesson in learning to live joyfully and gratefully within my limitations. It’s simply a situational adjustment, just like the multitude of adjustments and accommodations that all of us have to make in response to circumstances in our lives.
Just keeping it real (for me) and close to home (for now)!
10 comments
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January 4, 2014 at 2:59 pm
Drue Wrigt
Tim, I appreciate your decision. I do not know you personally, only through your blog, but I can sense the heart of a true man of God.
Where did you go when you went to New Zealand? We were in Wellington between 1963 and 1966. Later we served in Fiji and my husband went to outer islands as well as around the main island. It seemed each time something major happened at home…..at least to a young mother of 5 it seemed major, but nothing I couldn’t handle on my own….it would have been easier had he been there. That being said, I was proud to stay at home with the children and serve God in that way while he taught the wonderful people of Fiji.
I would appreciate your checking out my blog when you have and giving me feed back as to how to better it. http://drue35.blogspot.com Thanks in advance.
January 4, 2014 at 4:51 pm
Tim Pyles
Great to hear from you again, Drue! I am so grateful for the way you and your family served in New Zealand and Fiji. I know that raising 5 children on the mission field was all kinds of challenging for you, especially with the traveling and great amount of teaching that your husband was doing; but you were doing something that you loved for the One that you loved, and He blessed immensely for it.
I was only able to spend a brief time in Auckland, Christchurch, Dunedin in 1987.
I hope to spend some time browsing your blog soon! God bless!
January 4, 2014 at 3:05 pm
Connie
A loving decision, but a lesson to all to bloom magnificently where God has planted. Some of the most important work done in the Lord’s name is found in very small capsules. I love reading your insight especially the insight you have found being the parent of a special needs child. Love, Connie
January 4, 2014 at 4:52 pm
Tim Pyles
Thanks so much for your encouraging words, Connie! Love to you and your family, as well!
January 4, 2014 at 3:42 pm
Kristine :)
Isn’t it awesome that we can do mission work anywhere and it doesn’t require foreign travel? You are gifted in reaching those who need Jesus through open and honest conversations… far or near. I know you will continue to minister to exactly those who God intends for you to reach. Your example of family first is heart warming and a blessing to Kim, Hannah and Coleman. Thank you for sharing your heart in words.
January 4, 2014 at 4:53 pm
Tim Pyles
Your kind and encouraging words mean so much to me, Kristine! Thank you!
January 4, 2014 at 4:16 pm
Frances Bishop Hadley
Tim, thank you sharing. I’m sure by the study, reflecting, and prayers, your decision was made easier for you. In this amazing age of technology, it’s possible to do so many things and the ability to continue to reach people for Christ a wonderful blessing. You and Kim are wonderful parents and such inspiration to everyone, not just those who have special needs children. You are proof that you can fulfill your role as a parent and also to the work of the Lord in many ways. Love to you, Kim, Hannah, and Coleman.
January 4, 2014 at 4:56 pm
Tim Pyles
You are right, Frances! The time away for reflection and prayer helped so many things come back into focus for me. Thanks for the kindness and concern that you have always shown toward our family. It’s great to be able to keep up with you on FB!
January 20, 2014 at 10:39 pm
vlearnssomethingnew
Tim, thank you for sharing this! Your retreat sounds amazing and amazingly difficult at the same time. You have been such a blessing to so many of us. I know God will bless this new phase of your life. He will open doors that you never expected. Thank you for being open and honest. I admire your example of humility and service.
January 21, 2014 at 7:28 pm
Tim Pyles
Thank you, Vyneta, for your extremely kind and encouraging words. You, Tim, and your boys (young men!) remain a very special family in our hearts from a most incredible and special time in our lives; irreplaceable memories! So glad that you are writing and sharing your new dreams, pursuits, and adventures. Blessings, dear sister!