Today is our son Coleman’s 20th birthday, which is a miracle and a blessing on so many different levels. I have periodically blogged about the countless ways in which Coleman has taught us, challenged us, inspired us, amazed us, sent us to our knees in prayer (both in petitions and thanksgivings), filled our eyes with tears, our hearts with joy, and our voices with laughter. Despite Coleman’s autism, Dubowitz Syndrome, and developmental disabilities, God has faithfully demonstrated over and over again how His power and providence can bring blessings and beauty out of brokenness. Coleman remains an incomparable and irreplaceable blessing in our lives.
As I reflect today on the course of Coleman’s 20-year journey, I want to express love, admiration, praise, and appreciation to someone who has been integrally involved in his life from the day of his birth.
Our daughter Hannah was almost 2 and 1/2 years old when Coleman was born. She was plenty old enough to know that Mommy was going to be having a baby, and she was thrilled to know that she would have a little brother. Since Coleman was born fairly early in the morning, I was able to bring Hannah up to the hospital late that evening to officially welcome her brother into the family. Since that day, “Baby Coleman” has had an unparalleled guardian and guide in his big sister.
By the time Hannah was four or five, she was aware of the fact that Coleman was somewhat different from her friends’ younger siblings. Throughout Coleman’s multiple hospitalizations with pneumonia, ongoing treatment for neutropenia, and periodic trips to the National Institutes of Health, Hannah was as resilient and unflappable as a young child could be. She was a regular recipient of our “Go with the Flow” award. While we sought to keep life as “normal” for her as possible, Hannah would often pass on invitations and offers for special trips or activities if Coleman was not going to be able to participate. She preferred to have him with her, whatever that might or might not entail. The fact that Coleman could never verbally communicate with her never stopped her from talking to him… constantly! We have joked (only slightly) that one of the reasons Coleman remained non-verbal was that he never really got a chance to talk!
For 20 years, Hannah has been a vital part of every aspect of Coleman’s care and comfort. More than just a big sister, she has been like a third parent to him, although he periodically reminds her that he knows the difference! Coleman’s unique circumstances caused Hannah to grow up, mature, and take on responsibilities far beyond her years. She has fed him, bathed him, dressed him, put on his AFO braces and shoes, washed his clothes, picked up his room, kept up with his glasses and now his hearing aids, driven him to therapy sessions, gotten him off the school bus and off to sleep. She knows all of the nuances of his own special dialect of sign language. She has always been so gentle and patient with him.
Coleman could not have a more ardent defender than he does in Hannah! I have seen her face redden, her back straighten, and her arm around his shoulder tighten when she encountered someone who “just didn’t get it.” I recall being in a mall in Texas several years ago and seeing Hannah’s wrath unleashed on a woman who, unfortunately for her, couldn’t manage to break free from her slack-jawed staring at Coleman as they passed in the concourse. I took the opportunity to do the dutiful, Christian, “parently” thing in telling Hannah that, while I appreciated her protectiveness of her brother, it really wasn’t cool to call someone out in public like that. Still, I couldn’t help from feeling extremely proud of her, and also somewhat sorry for the lady who had no idea what she was walking into and quickly skulked away!
Coleman has noticeably missed Hannah since she was has been away at college. He brightens up, even more than normal, when she is at home. He stashes her suitcase in her closet in an effort to prolong her visits. He evoked tears from all of us when he retrieved her suitcase from her car as she was loading up to head back to school a few months ago. They share a special bond that will never be broken. This must be exactly what God had in mind when He urged “brotherly love” among the members of His spiritual family.
Hannah’s preparation for a career in nursing seems so fitting and natural. She has had a lifetime of experience already.
I love you, Hannah, for so many reasons. Your relationship with Coleman is right at the top of that very long list. Thanks for blessing his life in so many wonderful ways!
20 comments
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February 19, 2013 at 7:09 am
Martha Evans
Beautifully said.
February 19, 2013 at 8:43 am
Tim Pyles
Thank you, dear Martha!
February 19, 2013 at 9:07 am
Sue Isbell Tucker
What a beautiful story! God Bless!
February 19, 2013 at 1:21 pm
Tim Pyles
Thank you, Sue!
February 19, 2013 at 9:34 am
mtndude01
Very Touching ….
What a Beautiful Story
God Has Richly Blessed Your Family
I Can’t Imagine The Difficultys You All Have Experienced Over The Years & With Gods Help Have Turned It Into A Positive Experience
It Helps Put Our Life’s Daily Strugles In To Perspective
You All Are A Inspiration To Us All
Thanks For Sharing
February 19, 2013 at 1:22 pm
Tim Pyles
Thanks so much for your very kind words. God is good, and we have been blessed!
February 19, 2013 at 11:47 am
Chris Moses
Tim, this is so beautifully written and so true. I wished everyone had a big sister like Hannah. Love your two children so much! They are both such an example to me!
February 19, 2013 at 1:06 pm
Sheryl Cooper
Tim this was so uplifting to read today! What a blessing sweet Coleman is to your family and all others that come in contact with him! Hannah is a jewel! She is beautiful inside and out! Thank you for sharing!
February 19, 2013 at 1:27 pm
Tim Pyles
Thanks so much, Sheryl! Blessings to you, Dee, Rhianna, & Cody!
February 19, 2013 at 1:27 pm
Tim Pyles
We love you, too, Chris! We are grateful that you have been a part of Hannah and Coleman’s lives. Sorry that I couldn’t get this to appear right below your comment!
February 19, 2013 at 11:25 pm
Drue Wright
I have tears in my eyes after reading this moving story of a wonderful, loving and caring young lady. I have witnesses many times that the “normal” child is jealous of the child who needs more care and concern and feels left out. You and your wife have done a fantastic job with both of your children and I would say, especially with your daughter who feels protective and included and not left out at all. What a great lesson for all parents. Every child is special and should be made to feel that way.
By the way…… I was 58 the day your son was born!
February 20, 2013 at 4:22 am
Tim Pyles
Great to hear from you again, Drue, and thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful words. You are quite right; every child is a unique and special creation of God, and Hannah is just as precious to us as Coleman is. If I read your last comment correctly, I believe you and Coleman may share a birthday. If so, happy birthday, Drue! May God continue to bless you with health and strength.
February 20, 2013 at 9:22 am
Jay bearden
Tim, your wonderful story leaves a tear of joy in my eye and a smile in my heart. You, Kim and Hannah are an inspiration to all who know you. God Bless, and happy birthday to Coleman.
Jay
February 20, 2013 at 11:00 am
Tim Pyles
Thank you so much, Jay! Coleman had a very happy birthday yesterday. Give our love to Maxine, Tanya, & Travis!
February 20, 2013 at 5:18 pm
Kelly Phillips
As tears fill my eyes, you & Kim must be extremely proud of the example Hannah sets before each of us on how to give selflessly. She is a precious young lady and y’all deserve the credit.
February 20, 2013 at 9:05 pm
Tim Pyles
Thanks so much, Kelly, for your kind comments! We are indeed very proud of Hannah, and very grateful for others who have loved and encouraged her along the way. God bless!
February 20, 2013 at 7:13 pm
Margaret Elrod
I can’t believe it has been 20 yrs. since Coleman was born. You were preaching at Second St. Church in Pulaski Tn. And I was a member there,
You were just starting your career. I am so proud of you and Kim. Give Coleman a big hug from me. Hannah must be the most wonderful sister in the world. But she has wonderful Parents who raised her. Blessings to all of you. Margaret Simmons Elrod
February 20, 2013 at 9:11 pm
Tim Pyles
I remember you well, Margaret, along with your Mom & Dad! Great to hear from you, and thanks for your kind words and remembrances of our ministry at Second St. it was a very special time in our lives, with a multitude of memories and cherished friendships; you guys surrounded us with love and support as we became aware of Coleman’s diagnoses and challenges, and it will never be forgotten!
July 12, 2013 at 9:15 am
sfhigg
Tim,
Thanks for writing this. It’s a beautiful tribute to your son and daughter. I wish you and your family the very best!
July 12, 2013 at 11:27 am
Tim Pyles
Thanks so much for your kind and encouraging comments, Steve. I really appreciate it. Blessings to you and your family, as well!