On February 19, 1993, Kim and I were blessed with the arrival of our second child, a son, Coleman Bradford Pyles. Hannah, who was 2 1/2 years-old at the time, was thrilled to welcome a baby brother into our family. Hannah had already been such an incredible blessing in our lives and had brought us so much joy; having a “matched set” was almost too good to be true. We imagined a future with a house filled with the noise, activity, and laughter of the four or five children we hoped to have.
Coleman’s diagnosis with Dubowitz Syndrome at the age of five months and an additional diagnosis of autism a few years later significantly changed our hopes and expectations for the future. I think that Kim and I both began making the necessary mental adjustments immediately, although I would unfortunately be about a decade and a half behind her in emotionally processing what this meant for him and for our family. Hannah was a sharp little girl, and it didn’t take her long to realize that her little brother was different from most; she quickly took on roles far beyond her years as a tender guardian and fearless defender of Baby Coleman.
I’ll spare you the details of the struggles, heartaches, advances, and setbacks of the early years: more hospitalizations and pneumonias than I can count, trips to NIH, bone marrow aspirations, years of Neupogen injections, Cerebral Palsy Center, Easter Seals Center, orthotics, physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, and special education.
We have weathered many storms over the years, but, even through the worst of it, there was always plenty for which we could be grateful. We were a family; as odd and irregular as we were, we were still a family. While others cannot fully understand our circumstances unless they have walked this particular, peculiar road, we have always been blessed with friends and a church family who were sensitive to Coleman’s needs, as well as to those of our family.
I have watched in amazement for 19 years as Coleman has softened and stolen hearts, broken down barriers, loosened people up (who seriously needed loosening up!), and became a perennial teacher’s pet. He has trained and entrapped countless people into doing his bidding, whether it was whistling or producing other sound effects for him, quoting movie lines, or supplying him with hamburgers, Dr. Pepper, Skittles, and Lucky Charms.
Coleman has accomplished all of this without saying a word; “Mama” remains the only word he has ever spoken. If my “accomplishments per word” ratio were as great as Coleman’s, I would be the recipient of several Nobel and Pulitzer Prizes by now. I’ve talked a lot!
Coleman is the happiest person I know. His laughter is infectious. His cleverness and ingenuity are amazing. His perseverance is inspiring. He is sweet. He is gentle. He is affectionate. He has overcome the fear of simple things (but extremely terrifying things to him) like hair dryers, vacuum cleaners, electric clippers, escalators, and horses, although he remains very uncomfortable around dogs and cats. I’m with him on the cats!
He has been blessed with the best mother and the best big sister God could have ever given him.
Happy birthday, Coleman! Your Dad is so proud of you!
9 comments
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February 20, 2012 at 7:39 am
Sheri Fields
Everytime I read your blog I am blessed! What a wonderful tribute to your beautiful, caring son! My only wish was that we lived closer to you all. We never had the privelege of raising our children together but we did birth babies (both times) just months or weeks apart. Those years we spent in Hawaii were wonderful. I knew that Kim would be a wonderful mother. How she protected and loved baby Hannah in her womb. Blessing to you all as you celebrate Coleman!
February 20, 2012 at 8:31 am
Kristine Lowen Weyher
You left out something very important… he has an amazing father too! All children are a gift from God and should be celebrated. What each one teaches us is incredible. Blessings to you and your family… we are all blessed to know all of you!
February 20, 2012 at 9:22 am
Connie Willoughby
After reading this I am reminded that each of us should count our blessings no matter what circumstances we find ourselves. God knew that you and Kim would be the best parents for His baby Coleman and you have proved Him right. Happy Birthday Coleman
February 20, 2012 at 9:23 am
Aaron Kite
Happy Birthday, Coleman!
February 20, 2012 at 9:32 am
Meriann Moses
Tim,
I often read your blogs….I enjoy reading them as they come across with such peace. Happy birthday, Coleman!
February 20, 2012 at 9:34 am
Chris
He is blessed with the best father also! Thank you for making my day, with your writing, on one of my favorite people of all times! Your family has blessed my life in many ways! Thank you for reminding me of the greatest things of importance; faith, love, and relationships with others! God bless you and that sweet angel, Coleman!
February 20, 2012 at 11:29 am
Bill E. Smith
Happy Birthday Coleman! You are a very fortunate boy. If you must carry this burden, you have been given the greatest helpers you could possible have. A Christian family, a loving famiy, and many thousands of people who love you and your family for the great example you all have set for us. Coleman, very few people will bless God’s family the way you have! May God continue to bless us all trough your life! Your loving big brother,Bill E. Smith
February 21, 2012 at 7:23 pm
Margaret Reed Elrod
Dear Tim, I well remember when Coleman was born. You were at Second St. COC in Tenn. I have thought about you and Kim so much over the years and I finally found you through Google. You and Kim have done so well and I am so proud of you. I was so sorry to see you leave but I understand why. Tell Kim hello and hug those beautiful children of yours for me.
Love and Blessings to you. I read your blog and and have it on my E-Mail. Margaret Simmons Reed(now Margaret Elrod).
January 22, 2013 at 3:31 am
Carolyn Boughton
Enjoyed reading the story. Our daughter was recently diagnosed with Dubowitz Syndrome and I agree, it is going to be an interesting journey, but so glad that there is somewhat of a support network online that gives new parents a heads up of what could be in store!!