“I really hate to ask you this, but could you…?”
“I’m so sorry to bother you; but, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, would you mind…?”
Call them “qualified questions,” “reserved requests,” or “asking with an asterisk.” Whatever you want to call it, I have done it a lot in my life.
I just hate asking for things. There is probably a psychological term that describes this behavior and the underlying emotions and thought processes, along with various theories as to why it exists among humans. I would like to think that I hesitate to ask for things out of regard for other people; I really don’t want to be a nuisance or a bother; I don’t want to put anyone out, inconvenience them, make them late, exhaust their energy or resources, or distract them from something more pressing that they need to do. Yeah, that’s it! I hesitate to ask because I am such a great guy, such a thoughtful and considerate person! That would be a wonderful explanation, but I think there is a better and more accurate one: Pride.
I hate to ask because it is an acknowledgement that I need help, an admission that I don’t have all the answers and resources that I need, and an indication that I can’t do this by myself. In short, I am human, imperfect, and limited in my abilities, “So, can you help a brother out?” It takes humility to ask, and sometimes I just don’t have enough of it.
Perhaps that is why God wants us to ask. From a knowledge and awareness standpoint, He doesn’t need us to do so because our omniscient, loving Father already knows what we need before we ask Him (Matt. 6:8). But, amazingly, Jesus follows those words in the Sermon on the Mount not with a statement on the pointlessness of petitioning God, but with a lead-in to the Model Prayer. “God already knows what you need, so….pray in this way…ask like this” (Matt. 6:9-13). “Ask.. seek… knock…; your Father who is in heaven knows how to give good gifts to His children” (Matthew 7:7-11).
So, don’t be afraid to ask. Just humbly let Him know that you need Him and His divine help. You can’t exhaust His resources; He’s not only “got” time, He rules time; He has unlimited power; you won’t distract Him; He can hear and process millions of requests in a single moment, and does so non-stop every single day. And He wants us to get specific. I think that is why Jesus asked a blind man who was crying out for mercy from the Son of David, “What do you want Me do for you?” (Mark 10:51). “Let me hear your heart, Bartimaeus! What is it specifically that you desire for Me to do for you?”
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God” (Phil. 4:6).
“You do not have because you do not ask” (James 4:2).
Proud Tim is still learning that.
4 comments
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November 11, 2010 at 9:47 am
Martha Evans
Hey, Tim. I just want you to know that your blogs really pierce my heart sometime – well, actually most of the time. Funny how occasionally I avoid reading them because I know they will touch me in some way and I’m not ready for it!. You have a unique ability to do that to people. Your current article really touches us all. We hesitate to ask for help; thereby denying others the blessing of helping. Hugs to the Pyles family. Martha
November 11, 2010 at 8:10 pm
Tim Pyles
Thanks so much, Martha. You are absolutely right; our refusal to ask and/or our hesitancy to accept offers of assistance robs others of the blessing of helping.
Much love to you and your family! Hope Myrtis is feeling better.
November 11, 2010 at 2:39 pm
Mike Willoughby
Right on target, Tim. You hit the nail on the head and stepped on my toes all at the same time! Thanks for the positive pain and the great lesson.
November 11, 2010 at 8:18 pm
Tim Pyles
Thank you very much, Mike! Grateful that “preaching to myself” can be of benefit to others who can identify with the struggle. Love to you, Kristal, and the boys!