My mother, Shelby Jean Sheffield Pyles, passed away on Thursday, September 16. Two hours after her death, my father suffered a heart attack and several subsequent heart stoppages. By late afternoon, Dad was a patient in the same Coronary Care Unit where he, my sister, and I had stood at Mom’s side when she took her last breath just a few hours earlier. On Saturday, as we were traveling from Mom’s funeral service in Alabama to the burial in Tennessee, Dad was put on a ventilator and flown to Birmingham. He remains in CCU as of this morning. Prayers for him are greatly appreciated.
Dad’s absence from Mom’s funeral service was deeply felt. But, despite our concern for him and our frayed emotions from coming dangerously close to losing both parents on the same day, the service still provided our family and friends an opportunity to come together to celebrate Mom’s life and honor her memory.
I had the honor of speaking at Mom’s funeral and graveside service. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to do it or not, but in the moment I felt an overwhelming sense of calm and peace. Part of what I shared at the service appears below.
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Mom was born on December 15, 1936 to Charles Randol Sheffield and Lila Massey Sheffield in Hentown, Georgia. That was the day that Elinor Sheffield got a baby sister.
Mom graduated from Damascus High School as the Valedictorian of the Class of 1954, then left South Georgia for Montgomery to attend Alabama Christian College. She graduated from the two-year school with an A.A. degree in 1956 and immediately went to work for the school, serving as the Secretary to the Registrar, R.A. Baker. It was while working at Alabama Christian that she met Dad, who had moved to Montgomery to teach at Alabama Christian High School. They were married on August 29, 1958 at the Capitol Heights Church of Christ in Montgomery. That was the first day of a marriage that lasted over 52 years.
I have always known that Mom and Dad loved one another deeply; you saw it in the way they took care of each other and expressed concern for one another; the way they defended one another and championed one another.
Over the last few days we have been able to see just how deep that love was. I was amazed and awed by how Dad talked to Mom when we would go back and see her in CCU. She couldn’t respond or speak, but we are fairly certain she could still hear us. Dad used such amazing, tender words of affection and devotion. After 52 years, he was still smitten with her. I know that Dad has only ever worshipped God, but among all beings of a lesser nature than Deity, there is no one that Dad adored as much as Mom.
Mom had a great faith in God, a strong devotion to Jesus Christ, and a commitment to His church. Dad commented several times over the last few days about her steadfast faith. More than once he said, “I preached it; she lived it.”
Mom was firm in her convictions. I continue to grapple with some areas that seem to be varying shades of gray. But, for Mom, it was all pretty much black and white, cut and dried. God said it, she believed it, and that settled it.
I remember her teaching children’s Bible classes when Karen and I were young. One Sunday morning after Mom had led our Bible class in a prayer, I ratted on a little girl named Laura and told Mom that Laura didn’t have her eyes shut during the prayer. Mom asked me how I knew that Laura didn’t have her eyes closed. I didn’t rat on anyone in Bible class again.
I remember her grading hundreds of Bible correspondence courses when she and Dad served as missionaries in Liberia, West Africa, in the early ‘70s.
Mom was a faithful minister’s wife, missionary’s wife, and Christian Educator’s wife. She supported Dad and encouraged him in his ministry. She was very proud of him, as he was of her. Whenever a new challenge or opportunity presented itself, she gladly went with Dad wherever he felt the Lord was calling him; from Montgomery to Opp to Chattanooga to Ravenna to Warrior to Greenville to Louisville to Liberia to Richmond to Lewisburg to Montgomery to Huntsville to Florence to Cullman.
Mom was an intelligent woman. She excelled academically in both high school and college. But she was never content with her level of knowledge. She continued to read voraciously throughout her adult life, not only the Bible and spiritually related materials, but in a wide variety of other fields of interest as well. She subscribed to numerous magazines and papers and could converse intelligently about a great number of subjects.
Even though Mom spent most of her adult life as a homemaker, like the enterprising woman of Proverbs 31 she also worked outside the home at times; at a music store and a department store, as a secretary at Eastern Kentucky University and as a dormitory supervisor at Alabama Christian. It takes a special breed of person to be a dorm mom to a bunch of college girls.
Mom was a great cook. Thanksgiving was always special because of her awesome dressing and pumpkin pie. Later years brought peanut butter pie, frozen lemon pie, “slushy stuff” in the summer time. She made wonderful casseroles and vegetable dishes.
Though hindered by health and mobility in recent years, in earlier times Mom greatly enjoyed gardening, canning, flowers, and fishing. She was quite athletic as a young woman. One day when I was five or six years old, she informed me that I was going to be disciplined for something that I had done. We were outside in the yard at the time, and I told her very disrespectfully that she would have to catch me first in order to spank me. She caught me before I had even completed my first lap around the house. I remember being extremely impressed with my mother’s speed! I was also rather sore in my backside for a while.
Mom was an extremely practical person; she had a very no-nonsense approach to life. She didn’t go in for pretense, pomp or circumstance; she just kept it plain and simple.
Mom’s practicality and frugality contributed greatly to our family always being well taken care of. Even though I understand now that she and Dad sometimes had to make do on very little, we always had what we needed, and Karen and I never felt like we went without anything. Mom was a saver. She knew the value of things and lived accordingly.
Karen and I feel blessed to have had a mother who loved us. That doesn’t mean that she always agreed with us, but she always loved us. In turn, she came to love her son-in-law Darrel and daughter-in-law Kim; her grandchildren Carter, Derreck, Hannah, and Coleman; and her great-grandchildren Bryce, Dezi, and Will.
Mom endured far more than her fair share of physical illnesses, struggles, and pain in life. We are so grateful to God that all of that is now over for her.
Thanks to all of you who have ministered to her and Dad; faithful friends, church members, and church leaders at Arley and Cullman; those who sat with Mom so that Dad could go preach; those who brought meals to them, took them to appointments, and visited them at home and in the hospital.
Romans 8:18, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”
Paul was very well qualified to make this statement. He, too, had experienced more than his share of sufferings for the cause of Christ (II Corinthians 11:23-28). But he had also been granted a glimpse of what was waiting beyond this life.
In II Corinthians 12:2-4, Paul describes how, fourteen years earlier, he was caught up to the third heaven, to Paradise. He didn’t know if this was an “in-body” or “out-of-body” experience, but he was firmly convinced and convicted about what he saw and heard; inexpressible words which a man is not permitted to speak. For a brief moment, the veil of this present world was pulled back so that he could see the glory that awaits the children of God.
This is the place that Jesus called Paradise in Luke 23; the place that he referred to as Abraham’s bosom in Luke 16.
That is where Mom’s spirit and soul have gone. She has left behind her frail body of death. She is in the presence of Christ the Lord (Philippians 1:23; II Corinthians 5:8), in a place of peace, comfort, and fellowship awaiting the last great day when she will be united with a new body, one that is eternal and imperishable and free from all pain, sickness, and sorrow.
Thank you, Lord, for fulfilling your promises for one of your faithful children.
We love you, Mom!
14 comments
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September 27, 2010 at 6:10 am
Kristine
Beautiful Tim! We miss you in Broken Arrow but are glad you have this time with family.
September 27, 2010 at 6:38 am
Bobby Ross Jr.
What an amazing tribute, Tim! Thank you for you sharing your mom’s incredible story with those of us who did not know her.
September 27, 2010 at 6:56 am
Susan Cook Ragsdale
It was a beautiful service at the cemetery Tim. And at the end, when after the warm sun had been shining down on us the entire time, right as you were finishing up, the still air was broken by that wonderful cool breeze. Right then and there it was like we were being told everything would be okay. I always had great respect as a child growing up for both your mom and dad. I told Karen at the service that when a minister and his wife make a good impression on a kid that lasts their lifetime you know that they were special. I’m glad to hear your dad is doing better. Best wishes and prayers to all of your family…and so good to see you again!
September 27, 2010 at 9:06 am
Russell Selman
Tim, we love you guys and are praying for your dad and your family. Thanks for sharing a bit of your mother with us here.
September 27, 2010 at 11:58 am
Krista
Beautiful tribute, Tim; thanks for sharing and keeping us up-to-date via FB! What a wonderful, Godly example of a “Proverbs 31” woman; may all of us women strive to be that and live it in our lives every single day! And 52 years of marriage . . . what a great example, blessing and legacy! My heart still aches for your sweet dad during these difficult days. Please know that the five of us continue to lift you ALL up in prayer daily. Many Blessings ~
September 27, 2010 at 5:31 pm
Brenda Layman
Tim that was one of the most special and beautiful eulogies I think I have heard. I know your mom was listening and was so proud. Thank you for letting us be a part of it. We are still praying for your dads health and also for the family. Hope you all get to come home soon. You are all dearly missed. Our arms are here waiting to hold and comfort. Love you all
September 27, 2010 at 6:19 pm
Barbara McGowen
Thanks Tim. Wish I could have know your wonderful Mom & your Dad.
September 27, 2010 at 8:39 pm
Kristi and Phillip Byrd
I hope it doesn’t sound trite to say that our prayers are with you and your family (especially your Dad). It is always difficult to lose a parent even when comforted by the knowledge that they now reside with their Lord. We will lift your family up in our prayers.
September 27, 2010 at 9:23 pm
Merlin
Thinking of your family and praying for you all!
September 28, 2010 at 9:08 am
Songbird Sherrie
Tim, I loved reading about your mom and family! I feel as if you were describing my parents. They will be married 51 years next month and also have two children. It is amazing just how much our mom’s are alike… although my mom did not have a college education, many people feel as if she did with her knowledge of the Bible. She still loves to read and study His Word!
I am sorry for your great loss Tim. Time and God is continues to mend my broken heart with the loss of my precious daughter Tabitha. He is able to put this shattered heart back together everytime it breaks. Leaning on His understanding of things and trusting in Him really helps the healing process. Some things in life I will never understand…and that is okay as our LORD does understand them and that is all that matters.
God is with your precious dad and I thank Him for listening to our prayers and being with your family. You are a child of the KING and loved by the KING Tim…He hears your heart! HE knows just what you need.
Know you are in my thoughts and prayers often,
Keep the faith brother Tim
Love in HIM,
Sherrie
September 29, 2010 at 1:44 pm
Connie Willoughby
Tim, This is a beautiful tribute to your Mom. I wish I had known her. I do , however, know her son and in that way I can know and appreciate who she was. I am sure that many of the wonderful trates that I have seen in you were planted by your Mom and Dad. You have been given a very rich heritage by a very special lady. My prayers continue to be with your Dad, you, and your special family. Love, Connie
September 29, 2010 at 8:45 pm
Dorothy Spridgeon - Toronto Canada
Dear Tim and Family: I would have commented sooner, but I wanted to read every word that you have written regarding your mother’s legacy – how BEAUTIFUL – and even more so because it is all so true. I do not know your family, but I was truly blessed – with tears in my eyes – reading what you had to say about your mother. I feel so inadequate to even post a comment because the way in which you worded this description of your wonderful mother – I honestly felt like I knew her. I was so very saddened to learn about your dad at this particular time, but we are not to question the Lord’s Will – He has everything under His control – and I know you know that already. If you don’t mind that I share something on a personal note with you, but just this past June I lost my brother to cancer, and I have two sisters who are in a nursing home suffering from Alzheimer’s – what a dreadful disease – and these personal family issues have been so hard on our whole family.
Dr. Billy Graham was present at Dr. Oswald J. Smith’s funeral in Toronto and gave the eulogy a good number of years ago and I remember him saying that it was alright to mourn. I’m sure you have done this already in your own heart, to thank the Lord for the beautiful memories which your mother has left behind.
May you receive the peace which only the Lord can give in these coming days.
Dorothy Spridgeon
November 20, 2010 at 10:29 pm
Dorothy Spridgeon
My one sister who I refer to in my comments above passed away on October 13/10 after suffering from Alzheimer’s for 3+ years. Her death has taken a terrible toll on my fragile emotions. I can’t stop crying, and feeling very very sad.
December 15, 2010 at 10:30 pm
Dale Jenkins
Hey Tim, I was not aware of your mom’s passing or your dad’s health struggles. Having buried my mom 5 years ago this Christmas eve I know the joy of having a mom who loved so richly and the sorrow of missing one who believed in my so deeply. Please know I have prayed for you this evening. You are so much a blessing.
In His Care,
d