It takes an immense amount of humility to serve.

It takes an immense amount of humility to allow yourself to be served.

In the upper room on the night of His betrayal, an argument broke out among Jesus’ apostles as to which one of them was considered to be the greatest (Luke 22:24).  It was such an unseemly and misguided dispute, especially in light of what was about to transpire in the hours that followed.  While the cacophony of this ego-driven contest of conceit wore on, Jesus quietly arose from his reclined position at the table, took off His outer clothing, wrapped himself with a towel, filled a basin with water, washed the feet of His disciples, and dried their feet with the towel (John 13:1-5).  As if the divine Son of Man had not bowed low enough in emptying Himself to become enveloped in human flesh, he stooped further still to perform the most menial of tasks for a bunch of whining, self-obsessed men who could not be bothered to extend a simple, common courtesy to one another, much less to their Lord and Master.

Images of “the basin and the towel” like the one above tend to evoke a scene that was clean, sterile, and pristine.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Jesus didn’t have the modern convenience and protection of latex gloves or the aid of brushes or pedicure instruments.  He used His bare hands to rub and rinse dirt and packed-on road grime from the calloused, malodorant feet of 12 adult men.  As their feet grew cleaner, the water and the towel grew more dingy and dirty.  This was no mere ritual or superficial ceremony; it was a legitimate and much-needed foot bath.

Jesus powerfully displayed unparalleled humility in this act of selfless service.  But, to be served in this way required of the apostles that they dig deeply into their reservoirs of submissiveness and poverty of spirit, neither of which was their strong suit.  It was purely out of pride that Peter protested, “Lord, you’ll never wash my feet!”  “Dig a little deeper in the well of humility, Peter,” Jesus said.  “If you want to be with Me, you’ve got to let this happen.”

Who among the apostles earned a foot washing that evening?  Who deserved it?  Who could have demanded it of Jesus?  For the apostles’ part, it just took humility, faith, trust, and confidence in Jesus that He knew what He was doing, that this was somehow needful and necessary, despite their inability to fully understand it at the time (John 13:7).

Washing feet is not too much of a cultural necessity for most of us, but allowing people to serve us in other ways can sometimes test the limits of our humility.  People will often ask us during an extended illness or other times of crisis, “What can I do to help you out?  Can I do some laundry for you?  Let me pick up your dirty clothes, take them home, wash and dry them, fold them, and then I’ll bring them back to you.”  In our pride, we balk, and we bar their extension of grace and mercy.  “No! No!  I couldn’t possibly let you do that!”  Why?  Because it’s personal; it’s private; our underwear is in there; our dirty underwear!  So, in our pride, we rob them of a blessing, and we rob ourselves of a blessing.

In unmerited grace and unmitigated mercy, Jesus wants to cleanse us.  He wants to do our spiritual laundry, removing the stains of sin that we are powerless to remove for ourselves.  He wants to wash our robes, making them clean and white through the saving power of His sacrificial blood (Rev. 7:14).  It takes humility to allow Him to do that.

In baptism, we humbly surrender our pride to Jesus’ divine will and submissively accept His promise to wash away our sins (Acts 22:16); not a physical cleansing, but an appeal to God for a clean heart and conscience (I Peter 3:21).  Far from a human work that somehow invalidates salvation by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8-10), baptism is a humble expression of faith and confidence in the power and working of God to save us (Colossians 2:12).  Baptism is a dramatization, a reenactment, of our faith in Jesus’ death, burial and resurrection and a pledge of our trust that God will, through that same resurrection power, quicken us to new spiritual life (Romans 6:1-7).

Baptism is complete surrender.  It is wholly submissive on our part, just as it was for the apostles as they allowed Jesus to wash their feet.   Baptism is a bold proclamation of the depth of our faith in Jesus Christ; enough faith to trust Him; enough faith to obey Him; enough faith to submit to His instruction; enough confidence in Him to simply comply with His request.

My 21-year-old son, Coleman, is developmentally disabled and unable to bathe himself.  He is simply incapable of doing it; it is impossible for him.  Our morning routine each day involves me getting him into the tub, lathering him up, scrubbing him down, shampooing and rinsing his hair, drying him off, drying his hair, shaving him, brushing his teeth, and getting him dressed.  All the power and the “work” that makes his cleansing a reality lie totally outside of himself.  The only thing he contributes to the process is beautiful, humble trust and acceptance.  He just receives the gift and the blessing of grace without pride or protest.

People spend far too much time debating what baptism is for, rather than just accepting where baptism is from.  It is from Jesus.  Just humbly accept it, submissively receive it, and let Jesus do your laundry!

Grace and truth never came into conflict or competed with one another in the life of Jesus as He encountered and related to everyone from prostitutes to Pharisees, scribes to sinners, and rabbis to revenue collectors.  His message of truth and His ministry of mercy were so beautifully blended and perfectly balanced that they simultaneously comforted and convicted, reproved and redeemed, according to the most pressing need of the moment.

“For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ,” (John 1:17).

However, the integration of grace and truth remains a rather elusive combination of qualities for many of us who seek to walk in the steps of Jesus.  We are so predictably “either/or” in our orientations and allegiances.  “I’m all about truth.”  “I’m all about grace.”  Pick a side; join a team; cast your lot; choose your weapon; divide and demonize.  Jesus would have none of that as an equal opportunity offender and a “both/and” purveyor of truth and grace.

Jesus extended unmitigated grace to a man at the pool of Bethesda who had been debilitated by illness for 38 years.  Nearly four decades of suffering were brought to an immediate end when Jesus said, “Get up, pick up your pallet and walk,” (John 5:8).  When Jesus caught up with the man in the temple later that Sabbath day, He said, “Behold, you have become well; do not sin anymore, so that nothing worse happens to you,” (John 5:14).  Jesus wasn’t suggesting that the man’s suffering had been caused by some sin in his life.  He was just providing a timely and needful reminder that there is something infinitely worse than being physically sick for 38 years.

Jesus courageously defended the life and dignity of a woman caught in adultery, and He lavished divine grace upon her when He said, “Did no one condemn you?  I do not condemn you, either,”  (John 8:10-11).  Then He challenged her to “go, and sin no more.”  He didn’t condone or minimize the seriousness of her sexual sin (or that of her absent partner).  He simply covered her transgression with compassion and grace and called her to greater purity and conformity to God’s will for her life.

Grace and truth.

How would Jesus bring that same truth and grace to moral, ethical, and social issues in our contemporary culture?

My reading of Scripture leads me to hold an extremely high view of the sanctity of human life, including the preciousness and sacredness of life inside the womb.  For this reason, like many other Christians, I oppose elective abortion on demand, despite its legality according to state and federal laws and the landmark Roe v. Wade decision of the U.S. Supreme Court in 1973.

As a whole, conservative Christians have been firmly convicted and extremely vocal on the truth side in the abortion debate.  However, as with so many other moral concerns, we very frequently fall short in affirming grace.

There is a widespread need for Christians to communicate a message of grace, compassion, kindness, and forgiveness toward those who have elected to terminate pregnancies by abortion.  We need to seek to understand what was going on in their lives, in their minds, and in their hearts when they made this decision.  For many, it was an absolutely agonizing decision, perhaps driven by fear, confusion, shame, panic, or an overwhelming sense of anxiety about the future.  Very often, abortion is not a solely personal choice, but one that is heavily influenced and swayed by the counsel of friends or parents or pressure from the fathers of unborn children.  The intensity of this influence ranges from mere suggestions, to heavy-handed threats and ultimatums, to outright coercion.

Millions of women need to know that in Jesus Christ, and through the power of His cleansing blood, there is grace, forgiveness, healing, and freedom to be found from the guilt of the past.

“But, elective abortion is murder!”  I know it is.  However, murder is precisely what King David did to Uriah after his sexual sin with Uriah’s wife, Bathsheba.  Yet, David found grace, forgiveness, and restoration in his relationship with God.  3,000 years later, we are still reading and meditating upon the lyrics of David’s poetic songs of praise, lament, penitence, and thanksgiving.

Murder is what Saul of Tarsus, whom we know as our beloved apostle Paul, did to countless first century Christian men and women.  But, he was washed, he was justified, he was sanctified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God (I Corinthians 6:11).

“Well, I don’t know anyone who has had an abortion.”  Yes, you do!  You just don’t know who they are.  It’s a friend of yours, a classmate, a co-worker at your office, a neighbor, a family member, or someone in your church family.  It is someone who desperately needs to know that healing and wholeness can be found in Jesus Christ.

In 2008, I went through three weeks of intensive, day-patient counseling to address some serious issues of depression, emotional dysfunction, and emotional and spiritual exhaustion.  One of the therapeutic practices in the program involved being asked to write on subjects in which the counselors perceived that there was unresolved emotional baggage.  We were then asked to read those completed assignments in a group counseling setting.  A major emotional breakthrough came for me two weeks into the program when I was asked to write about my son Coleman’s birth, diagnosis, condition, and prognosis.  I had processed these things cognitively 15 years earlier, but had never allowed myself to face them emotionally.

One of the most gut-wrenching things I have ever experienced was listening to another member of my counseling group read letters that she had written to each of the five children she had aborted earlier in her life.  Her letters were raw, honest, and incredibly powerful.  In the letters, she explained to her children (and to us) what was going on in her life and in her mind at the time, why she did what she did, how she regretted her decisions, and how she longed to see them, meet them, and embrace them when she got to heaven.  The rest of us cried along with her as she tearfully worked through this cathartic process of acknowledging past guilt and embracing present grace and forgiveness.

Even when “right” on the principle of an issue, Christians can be, and very often are, extremely judgmental, cold and calloused, self-righteous, and hypocritical in our fixation on and demonization of a single moral issue.  Worse still, if we allow the abortion debate to be reduced to a plank in the platform of a political party, no room at all remains for grace or mercy.  If I view someone first and foremost as a political enemy on the wrong side of an “issue,” it becomes nearly impossible for me to effectively influence them as a Christian friend.

We don’t have to surrender an inch of moral ground or compromise a single conviction regarding abortion, but we can do much better, we must do much better, in communicating that truth with grace.

How hard is it to take something for granted?  Actually, it’s about as easy as it gets!  It’s no trouble whatsoever for us to begin viewing an incredible gift or abundant blessing as some sort of entitlement or guarantee.  All we have to do is possess it for a while, and it soon becomes a “given” in our minds and attitudes, a presumptuous expectation that it will always be there.  However, life’s unpredictable circumstances frequently serve as a system of “checks and balances” to jerk us back into a greater sense of reality and to rekindle a proper appreciation for the blessings in our lives.

My most recent “Took That for Granted, Now Didn’t You, Tim?” lesson was provided by a lack of air conditioning in my car.  For the most part, I’ve lived in an air-conditioned world, with the exception of the house where I lived in Liberia for two years as a boy and my apartment in Australia as a young adult.  Actually, the apartment where Kim and I lived for three years in Hawaii wasn’t air conditioned either, but who cares?  It was in Hawaii!  Other than those brief stints, my life has been blessed with an abundance of artificially cool air.

In the fall of 2010, the A/C went out in my car.  I planned to use my tax refund the next spring to get it fixed before the summer of 2011 arrived.  However, on Hannah’s first trip home from college after the weather warmed up, she told me that her car’s air conditioning wasn’t working.  So, I did the fatherly thing and used the money I had set aside to have her system repaired.  That’s just what we parents do for our kids, right?  I stuck it out through the heat of the summer of 2011…. and 2012 …. and 2013.  Don’t feel too sorry for me.  It only got up to 114 degrees those first two summers.  Oh, and did I mention the black leather interior?  That helped a lot!

On the hottest days the last three summers, I overcame the temptation to complain by reminding myself that I was extremely blessed to have a car at all, and one that, mechanically speaking, worked quite well.  It faithfully and regularly got me from Point A to Point B, which is what it was designed to do.  I was doubly blessed by the luxury of owing two vehicles.  I lived in an air-conditioned home, worked in an air-conditioned office, and shopped in air-conditioned stores.  I had more than enough food to eat.  I had clothes on my back (my stuck-to-the-car-seat, sweaty back!).  What right did I have to complain?

I got my car’s air conditioning repaired this week.  I can’t believe how cold the air is.  Yet, it probably won’t be very long before I just turn it on and ride in comfort without a passing thought of thankfulness.

Don’t let that happen with the greatest blessings in your life: your relationship with Jesus, your spouse, your children, your parents, your friends, your church family, your job, your co-workers, and all the physical blessings you enjoy.

Let the important people in your life know how much you love, appreciate, and treasure them.  Start with the Lord and work your way down the list!

“A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.” (Robert Orben)

I’m grateful that the Pyles household has two graduates this spring who are truly unique individuals.

Hannah recently received her Bachelor of Science in Nursing degree from Oklahoma Christian University.  She will take the NCLEX later this month and begin her career as a registered nurse.  She has a full-time position waiting for her at the hospital in Oklahoma City where she has worked as an advanced nurse tech for the last nine months while completing her degree.  It would be impossible for me to fully express how proud we are of the young woman Hannah has become, the level of hard work, tenacity, and responsibility that she has exhibited in balancing school and work, and the path that she has chosen for her life.

Coleman is “aging out” of the special education program at Union High School this year and will officially be graduating next week.  While we chose not to put him through the rigors, stress, and crowds of the graduation ceremony, we were thrilled that he was included in Senior Honor Night activities at our home church last Sunday evening.  I think he sensed the significance of the occasion, and he seemed to genuinely enjoy the inclusion and interaction with others.  We remain immensely blessed by a large village of friends and church family who love, accept, and embrace Coleman for who he is.

We typically view graduation as an “end,” the closing of a significant chapter in our lives.  Graduation ceremonies serve as an exclamation point to years of academic effort and hard work and sort of tie a bow on a package that has now been completely wrapped up.  But, graduation ceremonies are also referred to as “commencement exercises.”  By definition, commencement is “a beginning, start, opening, launch, onset, initiation, inception, or origin.”  So, graduation is truly a transition, one of life’s segues from “what has been” to “what will be.”

That’s what makes graduation such a joyful time.  It’s so much more than, “It’s finally over!”  It’s about moving on with excitement and expectation into “what’s next.”  This anticipation is also accompanied by a bit of anxiety and uncertainty because it’s a road we have not yet traveled or experienced, and we’re not exactly sure what it’s going to be like.

In celebrating Easter a couple of weeks ago, we were reminded that, because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ and the victory that He was granted by the Father over the grave, our attitude toward death has been totally reoriented and recalibrated.  Jesus “rendered powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and freed those who through fear of death were subject to slavery all their lives,” (Hebrews 2:14-15).

The fear is gone.  Death isn’t terminal.  Death doesn’t win.  Death is not the end!

Death is the ultimate graduation.  It marks the end of one phase of our existence and serves as a transition to another.  Death is the “commencement” of something better; far better; infinitely and eternally better!

Understandably, there is a level of anxiety about death simply because we haven’t passed that way before, and we have some questions about the particulars of our eternal state. But, there is no fear; only joyful expectation.

Keep living in preparation for your last, greatest graduation.

The class reunion is going to be incredible!

“Resist the devil and he will flee from you.”

James 4:7 communicates this powerful promise from God!  But, have you ever wondered exactly what resisting the devil looks like and sounds like in practical terms?  Is it merely a thought process or reliance on our own will power?  “Resistance” should conjure up images of active, aggressive combat, not passivity or simple wishful thinking that, if we just close our eyes and cower in a corner, perhaps he will go away.  Could the frequency of our failure when assaulted by Satan’s flaming arrows of temptation have something to do with the rarity or non-existence of a proactive plan of resistance against him?

In urging intimacy with God over friendship with the world, James provides us with several rapid-fire imperatives, i.e., some practical actions that we can take to deepen our relationship with our Father and further distance ourselves from our Adversary (James 4:7-10).  In addition to humbly submitting to God and intentionally drawing near to Him, James instructs, “Resist the devil and he will flee from you.”  Similar pushback against Satan is urged in I Peter 5:9.  After the sobering reminder that our Adversary stalks us like a roaring, ravaging, prowling lion, Peter challenges us to “resist him, firm in your faith.”

God gives us this incredible assurance that resistance against Satan will put him in retreat mode.  This truth should embolden our spirits and transform our mindset from helpless “victims” to that of “victors” in our battle against Satan’s enticement and entrapment.  This is not due to any fear that the Evil One has of us, but rather his dread of the One whose Spirit indwells and empowers us.  “Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world,” (I John 4:4).

Resistance is active.  It is more than just passively praying, “Lead us not into temptation,” then hoping for the best and expecting the worst  It requires engagement of our mind, heart, words, and actions.  So, what does “resisting the devil” look like?  What practical means of resistance can we use against him?

In recent years, especially since enduring what I consider to have been an all-out, no holds barred, full frontal assault from the Evil One in the summer of 2008,  my efforts to resist the devil have come to include verbally rebuking him.  Jesus spoke directly and defiantly to Satan when being tempted (Matthew 4:1-11; Luke 4:1-13), confidently quoting the truth of Scripture against Satan’s lies.  When He felt that Peter wasn’t seeking the Divine will regarding His impending death, Jesus said, “Get behind Me, Satan,” (Matthew 16:23).  In the enigmatic verse that describes a mysterious, other-worldly dispute over the body of Moses (Jude 9), Michael the archangel invoked the name and power of God by saying, “The Lord rebuke you!”

It angers me when I sense that Satan is seeking (yet again) to draw my heart, mind, and life away from God, to buy into worldly ways of thinking, and to act in pride and self-interest rather than in service and agape love to others.  So, I’ve gotten much more confident and comfortable in telling him (audibly) to get lost.  My language toward him is extremely pointed and somewhat coarse.  Love for my enemies does not extend to “the” Enemy.  In the name of Jesus Christ who defeated and disarmed him, I tell him to go “home.”  Since I know his permanent mailing address, I’m not bashful about telling him to go to hell and leave me alone.

I understand that many interpret Jude 9 to mean that we should never be so bold as to directly rebuke Satan in such a way.  However, in light of  translational variations, the sheer uniqueness of the verse, and its relation to material in an apocryphal, non-canonical book called The Assumption of Moses, until further notice I intend to keep right on actively resisting, pushing back, and getting in the devil’s face in the name of Jesus Christ.  I don’t think I can make him any angrier at me than he already is.

Hell is the custom-built home for the devil and his angels (Matthew 25:41).  I don’t feel the least bit timid about wanting him to move in as soon as possible.  When Christ’s victory is fully claimed, the great dragon, the serpent of old, will be cast into the lake of fire and brimstone (Revelation 20:10).  The return of Jesus Christ will not only result in the vindication and eternal salvation of His people, it will also execute the sentence and seal the doom of Satan.  Just one more reason to pray daily, “Come, Lord Jesus!”

Is hell for real?  I hope so.  For Satan’s sake, I truly hope so.

In our spiritual warfare against the devil, resistance is far from futile.  It is incredibly fruitful and effective, backed by the power, promises, and provisions of our God.  Just like the completely out-gunned David who took a stand against Goliath, we run to the battle line to meet the Enemy in the name of the Lord of Hosts.  Without God, David would have been the next notch on Goliath’s sizable belt, a forgotten footnote in the Philistine’s domination of Israel.  It is the Lord of Hosts who is the game changer, the outcome adjuster, and the re-writer of history.

In the name of Jesus Christ, resist the devil!

Are you quite ready for spring to get here?  Not that I’m complaining about winter!  One of the things that I have really enjoyed since moving to Tulsa five years ago is that there is a much more well-defined season of cold weather than we experienced during our previous twelve years of living in the Dallas area.  250 miles further north does make a noticeable difference in average low temperatures, the duration of cold snaps, and the amount of snowfall each winter.  As some of you know, I much prefer to grill out in cold weather as opposed to standing over burning charcoal when the outside air temperature is already 105° F.  Whose idea was that?

But, enough is enough, right?  While spring does not officially begin until March 20, the transition back to Daylight Saving Time this Sunday and the local forecast for daytime temps in the low 70s on Monday and Tuesday have me itching for consistently warmer weather.  There are signs that it is on its way.  Daffodils have had their heads poked up out of the ground for a while now.  They looked as if they were having serious second thoughts last week when they were up to their necks in sleet and snow, but I have a feeling that the next couple of weeks are going to see them rocketing up out of the ground.  Ditto for the hyacinth in the landscaping behind our house.  I noticed some greening of the grass (slight, but still significant) when I took a bag of trash out to the wheelie bin this morning.  The same was true for the patch of grass outside my office window, and close inspection of the rose bushes in front of the main church office evidenced similar signs of new life.  Bring it on!

For those of us who are fortunate enough to live in a temperate zone and to experience the blessing of seasonal variety, spring always follows winter.  Winter’s long nights are succeeded by extended hours of daylight in the summer.  Warmth follows cold.  God gave His word that it would always be this way until the end of time (Genesis 9:22).

This promise of God not only relates to the changing of the earth’s seasons, but also serves as a powerful metaphor for the sustaining hope that can help us endure our spiritual “winters,” the seasons of emotional darkness that periodically shroud our hearts and minds, and the “long nights” of physical pain inflicted by chronic illness and disease.  It’s real, and it hurts and disappoints, but it’s not forever!

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us,”  (Romans 8:18).

“For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison,” (II Corinthians 4:17).

“Weeping may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning,” (Psalms 30:5).

Whatever kind of “long winter’s night” you are experiencing right now, keep trusting and holding on to your faith in Jesus Christ “until the day dawns and the morning star arises in your hearts,” (II Peter 1:19)!

I have a collarbone problem; an asymmetrical irregularity.  I honestly don’t know if it is a congenital condition or the result of a childhood accident or injury that never healed properly.  If symmetrically arranged, my collarbones would more or less mirror each other, roughly pointing to 9:15 if they were hands on the face of clock.  However, my clavicle clock is stuck somewhere between 9:10 and 9:12.  This odd skeletal arrangement results in a left shoulder that appears shorter and higher than my right shoulder, with a similar distortion in the appearance of my trapezoids.  A shirt suffices to disguise this oddity from most people, but I see it in the mirror every single morning when I shave.

My left thumb doesn’t match my right one.  The end of “lefty” got mangled and nearly severed in a nasty car door accident when I was in kindergarten.  My left calf is noticeably smaller than my right one.  It has been that way ever since my junior year in high school when I spent an extended period of time in a leg cast following a football injury.  I have a “missing” knuckle where my ring finger joins my left hand, the result of a fracture while playing flag football in college; the knuckle still exists, but is hidden because of misalignment.

Just call me Nemo!  (For those of you who have never seen Finding Nemo, you really should take in this extremely entertaining and endearing animated film!)

Asymmetry is a tough pill to swallow for recovering perfectionists like me.  I once paused during a sermon several years ago and moved an artificial plant on the podium so that it would precisely mirror the position of the one on the other side of the pulpit.  Once order had been restored to the universe, I was able to proceed with the message.

I’ve come to learn that owning and embracing my physical asymmetry is a part of humbly acknowledging and accepting my humanness and my imperfection.

The same thing goes for my spiritual asymmetry.

I can now comfortably accept that God expects my faithfulness, not my flawlessness.  The latter is simply not within the realm of possibility for me.  I can rest in the confidence that He desires persistence and perseverance in my faith, not perfection.  I no longer have to live with the false guilt that I don’t measure up or unnecessarily inflict spiritual and emotional damage upon myself by trying to project and protect an image that neither I nor anyone else can live up to.

The apostle Paul describes his own spiritual asymmetry as follows:

“I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it.  Instead, I do what I hate…  I want to do what is good, but I don’t.  I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway…   Oh, what a miserable person I am!  Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?” (Romans 7:15, 19, 24 – NLT).

Like Paul, I wrestle with spiritual incongruencies and inconsistencies.  There are days when most things seem to make reasonable sense, the dots connect, and my language and behavior generally conform to the image of Christ into which I am seeking to be transformed.  There are other days when I question just about everything, things don’t seem to align properly, and I am embarrassed by my spiritual immaturity and pettiness.

And so it will be for the rest of the journey: victories and defeats, strengths and weaknesses, successes and failures, progress and lost ground.  My sanctification will not be made complete until Jesus returns and I see Him just as He is and am made like Him (I John 3:2).

Until then, I will do my best to walk in the Light so that I may have continual cleansing in His blood.  I will humbly and readily confess my transgressions, trusting in His faithfulness and righteousness to forgive my iniquities.  I will continue to entrust the salvation of my soul to my Advocate and His atoning sacrifice for my sins  (I John 1:7-2:2).

His strength for my weakness.  His righteousness for my sinfulness.  His perfection for my asymmetry.

Occasionally, phrases just leap out of songs, resonate with my heart, and find a permanent place in my consciousness.

One that has been rattling around in my brain for a few years now is the line, “I’m way too old to hate you,” from Brandi Carlile’s tune, “My Song,” which appeared on her 2007 album, The Story.  As I have commented on this blog before, I have a great affinity for Carlile’s music.  Her lyrics are honest and poetically powerful, and she delivers them with amazing energy and palpable emotion.  She doesn’t shy away from lyrically expressing feelings of failure, regret, and loneliness.

“I’m way too old to hate you.”

Shouldn’t there be an age cap or some sort of statute of limitations on hatred?  Shouldn’t our journey of spiritual growth, maturity, and conformity to the image of Christ eventually lead us to a threshold where we are required to leave our excess emotional baggage behind?

I can think of few things sadder than someone approaching death, yet still harboring bitterness and animosity in their hearts over some incident that took place years or decades earlier.

It is so emotionally and spiritually self-destructive to live under the tyranny of a painful event from the past.  In shutting the gates of compassion and mercy toward others and refusing to release them from their offenses, we may fool ourselves into thinking that we are holding them as emotional hostages, when in reality it is ourselves who have been consigned to captivity.  Very often, the other person has moved on, having found forgiveness and redemption from an infinitely higher Source.  They live in grace and freedom, blissfully unaware of our self-imposed confinement in the mire of our own misery.

How old do I have to be before I can learn to let things go?  I think 51 is old enough!

While the following passages may be somewhat familiar, perhaps fresh phrasing from The Living Bible will provide some additional insight.

“If you are angry, don’t sin by nursing your grudge. Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry— get over it quickly; for when you are angry, you give a mighty foothold to the devil,” (Ephesians 4:26-27).

“Stop being mean, bad-tempered, and angry.  Quarreling, harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in your lives,” (Ephesians 4:31).

“So get rid of your feelings of hatred. Don’t just pretend to be good! Be done with dishonesty and jealousy and talking about others behind their backs,” (I Peter 2:1).

“Try to stay out of all quarrels, and seek to live a clean and holy life, for one who is not holy will not see the Lord.  Look after each other so that not one of you will fail to find God’s best blessings. Watch out that no bitterness takes root among you, for as it springs up it causes deep trouble, hurting many in their spiritual lives,” (Hebrews 12:14-15).

Whatever the offense, let it go.

Whatever the disappointment, the pain, or the sense of betrayal, release it.

And pray that others will be just as gracious and merciful to you.

How far would you go to rescue and recover something of great value to you?  Would you be willing to get your hands dirty?  Would it be worth coming into contact with things that are generally considered to be unpleasant, if not downright nasty, in order to reclaim a prized possession?

Yesterday, I sat for an unexpected exam in which those were the three short-answer questions, and I didn’t have a lot of time to ponder my responses.

I had driven to a local hospital to check in on a couple of friends and fellow church members who were dealing with serious illnesses.  Before I left the house, I had generously lathered my hands with some of Kim’s medicated hand lotion.  Don’t judge me!  For some reason, this winter’s arctic air and nearly constant wind have been particularly rough on my hands, causing some serious dryness and chapping.  The hand lotion sadly plays into the rest of the story.

When I arrived at the hospital, I decided to make a stop in the restroom by the elevators.  Having washed my hands with soap and hot water, I held on to the paper towels so that I could open the restroom door without physically touching it.  I’m generally not overly conscientious about this, and am not what I would consider a germaphobe, but this was a hospital during cold and flu season and it just seemed like the prudent thing to do.

I opened the door, propped it open with my foot, and flung the paper towels downward into the tall, lid-less, nearly full trash can by the door.  Instantly, I realized that the ring on my right hand had accompanied the paper towels into the dismal abyss of waste.  It was a cruel conspiracy between the hand lotion and some remaining soapy moisture on my hand.

The ring which had plummeted into the trash can was a gift from Kim, a silver James Avery “Song of Solomon” ring, inscribed with “My beloved is mine, and I am hers” in Hebrew script.

There was no debate or hesitancy.  I didn’t stop to consider the range of germs or level of nastiness that might inhabit the contents of the garbage can.  I just instinctively went after the ring because of its value to me.  Obviously, I hoped that it might have come to rest on something near the top.  Such was not the case.

I will spare you the gory details of everything that I encountered while emptying the trash can, but my search took me all the way to the bottom.  The weight of the ring, combined with the movement of the contents as I emptied them, had caused it to keep descending until it could go no further.  Great!

However, the joy of recovering the ring was worth all of the effort, unpleasantness, and discomfort!  And yes, I was a good boy and completely reloaded the trash can.  Then I spent several minutes washing and rewashing my hands and just about emptied a dispenser of hand sanitizer out in the hall.

Jesus loved us so much that He came after us.  He pursued us all the way to the bottom of the barrel and found us right at the gates of hell.  He left heavenly glory to dumpster dive through the spiritual cesspool of this world in order to rescue and ransom our souls.  That’s how much He loved and valued us.

Are we willing to do the same for others whom Jesus loves just as much?

In my last post, I wrote about my recent sabbatical/silent retreat at the Abbey of Gethsemani near Bardstown, Kentucky.  It was my second retreat there in as many years.  Among other blessings, the week provided me with an opportunity to work through some inner conflict, turmoil, and anxiety that I didn’t even realize were affecting me so significantly until I was in a context where I could be still and focused long enough to reflect on it and face it.  I spent a lot of time in reading, prayer, reflection, and introspection.

Among the issues that I wrestled with that week was the concern that I feel for Kim and Coleman while I am away from home.  While Kim has been nothing but encouraging and accommodating over the last nearly 21 years of Coleman’s life in regard to my traveling great distances for mission trips, revivals, seminars, and now sabbaticals, I always experience a sense that I have left her with a significant weight of responsibility to bear alone.  We are so blessed with dear friends and church family members who would be there (and have been) at the drop of a hat to assist in whatever ways may be needed, but that does not alleviate the sense of responsibility and angst that I feel.

My resolution of the conflict was to determine that, for the foreseeable and indefinite future, I will not make foreign mission trips.  Foreign trips, of necessity, require a greater amount of time away from home  than do domestic destinations.  Also, the time and logistics of returning home in the event of an emergency are just too great.

I have been greatly blessed over the last 30 years to share in the work of Christ and His church in Australia, New Zealand, Papua New Guinea, England, Scotland, Mexico, Honduras, Nigeria, South Africa, Estonia, and Ukraine.  Seven years ago, I had the joyful and enriching experience of traveling to Israel with my daughter Hannah.  Even if I never travel abroad again, I will be extremely grateful for the opportunities that I have had up to this point in my life.  Our son’s special needs and unique circumstances just necessitate a change of itinerary.

There are so many other people who can go (and will gladly go) to minister to others in the name of Jesus and share His love and message of salvation.  Not only can they accomplish exactly what I would hope to accomplish, they can likely do so far more effectively, creatively, and fruitfully than I would be able to do.  I will focus more in the months and years ahead on supporting others to go and encouraging those who have been sent.

Kim has already tried to get me to reconsider this decision.  That is noble of her, but her efforts will be unfruitful.  There is so much that I can do here and from here.  I currently teach via Skype each week with a small group of Christians in Guyana, with plans to add a second congregation later this week; no airfare, no ground expenses, and no travel time required!  Domestic mission destinations, seminars, sabbaticals, etc., will remain on the books, but only to places from which I could be home in a matter of hours versus days.

Is there any disappointment in this decision?  Only that I may not have another opportunity in this life to personally see the smiling faces and enjoy the sweet fellowship of people that I have come to know and love in other places, most recently in Estonia and Ukraine.  I had also hoped to return to Nigeria this year or next and to include a stop in Liberia where I lived for a while when I was a boy.

So, yes, a bit of disappointment, but no sense of defeat.  This is just another lesson in learning to live joyfully and gratefully within my limitations.  It’s simply a situational adjustment, just like the multitude of adjustments and accommodations that all of us have to make in response to circumstances in our lives.

Just keeping it real (for me) and close to home (for now)!

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 176 other followers


June 2022